my mouth tastes like poor choices
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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