I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
