Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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