i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
