Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
