Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
