Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
