i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
