MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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