Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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