Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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