It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
