Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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