her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
