i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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