I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
