didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
