Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
