Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
