Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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