why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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