epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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