i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
