420 ftw
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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