This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Randomize
