your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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