Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
