I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
