just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
