apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
