Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
tell me about the eggs
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