One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
