Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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