I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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