I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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