I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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