Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
