it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
