rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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