i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
