yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
even my farts smell like vagina
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
