this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
