Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
