your room smells of hookers.
And success
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
