I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
