Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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