My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
