My underwear smells like fireworks.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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