it wasn't lemon gatorade
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
