I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
