He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
