You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
