The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
