I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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